Category Archives: miscellaneous

Quick Post

First, I want to thank everyone who helped replace my stolen computer by chipping in and/or spreading the word. You are all good friends, great people, and I am so glad you are in my life, no matter how distant you might be. I’m typing this post on my new computer, and I bought renter’s insurance, so I won’t ever have to beg for money on the internet again. As a bonus, when Apple heard my story, they took off 15% and threw in a three-year warranty program for free! It is quite awesome, and I have so much to be thankful for!

Secondly, I am planning a trip into New York City tomorrow. On my agenda is a visit to the World Trade Center Memorial and Occupy Wall Street. I am currently brainstorming poster slogans and/or pictures. Earlier today, I even drew a cartoon.  I rarely draw editorial cartoons, but this one came out well:


Tomorrow, I might live blog my trip to NYC and OccupyWallStreet, either here or on twitter.  Now, back to poster making!

I was robbed.

This is not the post I wanted to write. This is not how I wanted to get back into blogging. I wanted to talk about my summer; the things I had done and not yet done, the art I have begun to create again, the flight to see my parents after five years, the dates I’ve had and the men I’ve met. The things I’ve been thinking about, politcally and personally, esp. in regards to my professional future.  But today I cannot write about any of those things. Today I come to do what I never thought I would do on the internet. Today I come to ask for help.

Yesterday, I arrived home after a long Monday at work to find the window in my door busted, the frame broken and littering my kitchen floor. Soon enough I found that my computer, my hard-won Macbook Pro, was missing. 


Stolen, along with a cheap camera, my old blackberry, a game dvd, and my blender (the blender, but not the attchable food processor! QUE? ) The burgler also left signs of rummaging in my various drawers, tearing up my HTC Evo box, undoubtedly hoping it would be in there. That much, at least, I still have.

The loss of my computer is what gets to me most, more than any of the other stuff, more even than the violation of my personal space.  This is just the space I live in, but my computer contains everything that is me. It is–was–the only thing of value that I ever owned, and I paid for it with my own hard earned money.

You know how it is these days; everything is digital now. All my photos, from when I was a child to a few weeks ago, are in that computer.  Everything I have ever written in the last fifteen years, is on that computer.  All my notes, my drafts, my half-conceived blog posts, now gone into the ether.  My laboriously collected internet library, years in the making, gone. 

But it is not just that. That computer is my main hub for all my communication needs.  As a deaf woman, I need it to connect with and access busineses and people who have no other way besides telephones to communicate. My computer WAS my telephone. I used the relay service and even occaisonally the built in webcam to connect with people.  This touch screen HTC phone is limited. It can only do so much, yanno? Not to mention how many damn typos I make on this damn thing.

That brings me to the point of this post. If you have any money to spare, please consider helping me buy a new computer. I have created a page here. Whatever you wish to give me will be tremendously appreciated.

Its been up a day now, and at the time of this writing, so many people have donated an unbeleiveable amount. I will forever be indebted to them for their generousity.  Everytime somebody donates something, no matter how little or how much, I cry a little.  I cry because it reminds me of how helpless I feel, of how dependant I am on the goodwill of others.  I cry because it reminds me that most people are good people, and that goodwill is abundant.  I cry because people I have never met except in these electronic spaces of the web, somehow feel enough for me to want to share whatever they can spare.  I cry that they do it for me, when I feel unworthy of such generousity. What have I done for any of you to be so blessed? 

But I am blessed, and I’m very greatful to all of you, those have been reading this page all these years, and those who only know me through Facebook.  Without you, my life would be a whole lot dimmer.

Thank you! And again, if you’d like to help out, even if only a few bucks, I will be very greatful.

Still here and unraptured.

As if I would ever be raptured.  I’m an atheist. I have had sex before marriage. I think queer people are awesome, that marijuana should be legal, and women should have agency over their bodies. Also, I curse like sailor.

Besides, I have too much shit to do; I’ve got no time for this ascending nonsense.  I’ve got art to make, a book or 10 to write, movies to watch, and Adele songs to learn.  I’ve recently discovered Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” and I’m learning it so that I can hear it without my eyes.  I am also drinking wine, eating fish, and being appreciative of my life and my body.  Even if rapturing was possible why would I want to be?

A moments rest




I’m sitting on a bench in Riverside Park in Hartford, watching the swift current shimmer under a hazy sun. I’m biding my time here since I overestimated my ETA by an hour.  I’m heading up to Northampton MA to meet some friends for a gay pride parade or something. I’m not sure really what to expect but I am looking forward to spending time with the girls. 
It’s a nice park and there’s only two other people here: some guy walking around with a garbage bag and a dude on a boat.

I’m writing this post and taking these pictures from my new phone, an HTC evo, which I love! I’m hoping it doesn’t publish funny…

10:00pm, Sunday night


Yeah, I color-coordinated my closet.


I did more than 2/3 of that monstrous pile of dishes. All that is left are the pots.








My hands smell of dirty dishwater.


I deserve a reward.




















Rolling in the Money

Figured an April Fools post would be a good way to snap out of my blogging lethargy.  I still think I have peaked, but that doesnt mean the end is now, only a slow decline. Might as well enjoy the scenery while going down, eh?

The title refers to my recent windfall, of which I have been luxuriating in my newfound spending power.  See, what happened is that my company was once a small US medical technology specialist in prostate therapy, and about 3 years ago, it got bought out by a bigger fish across the Pond in London.  One of the perks of that aquisition was the award of several thousand shares of stock to each of us lowly peons.  THEN, that company got bought out by an even bigger fish, also in London, and all those stocks we had were sold and we all got a BIG FAT CHECK.


A pittance compared to modern executive bonuses, but to a working class girl like me, it is a significant chunk of change.  I paid off my car, bought a new computer,


a camera, a GPS, and a less than a thousand dollars worth of wardrobe updates.


(Details for those who like to know:

  • 4 dresses
  • 1 skirt
  • 5 pants
  • 15 shirts/blouses
  • 5 jackets/blazers/coats
  • 3 sweaters
  • 2 bags
  • 3 shoes
  • 4 peices jewelry
  • 1 swimsuit)

I also now have a savings account, (ALLELUIA!), and the ability to pursue my creative ambitions.  A great load has been lifted off my shoulders, and naturally, it feels great.  As if, finally, my life is going in the right direction.  Its amazing what a jump on the class ladder can do for one’s sense of optimism. For this year only, I will be middle class, and come next year, I will be back into the working class bracket.  But the good news is, that because of this windfall, I will go into the next few years with a savings account and only student loans as my debt liability.  I plan on keeping it that way for as long as possible!  Not a lot of working class folks ever get that opportunity.

In the meantime, I’ve got plans for this space.  Health reports to report, creative stuff to create, and points to pontificate upon.  Stay tuned!

Filling the Void

I’m stuck.

I’ve been trying to write a post for a few days now, but cant get further than a couple sentences. I don’t know what the hell is going on with that, but there it is. Even now that is as far as I am able to get with this post–my brain has seized up and is desperately searching for something else to do.

In other news, I have signed on to twitter, you can find me there at @nihilinitio; follow me and maybe I’ll follow you!

Now, reader partcipation time: is the billbord shown on this webpage offensive? Vote and discuss!


A Short and Sweet Update

What have I been up to?

  • temporarily suspended all dating activities so that I can re-focus on other, arguably more important things–namely, creativity projects. Online dating is a major time suck. 
  • shovelling. Its been near non-stop snow and/or ice here, all month. The other day, I even had to dig out my car, since one of my neighbors parked in MY clean spot and forced me to try parking in a not-so-great spot; a spot in which I promptly got stuck and had to shovel my car out, so that I could drive out the following morning. Then the next day, had to widen up another spot for me to park, on account of fresh snow and ice accumulations. Also, more snow expected Friday.
  • Added Advil and Pepcid to my daily chemical cocktail.
  • Getting back into the whole creative writing mindset. Slowly but surely. I hope.