This is not the post I wanted to write. This is not how I wanted to get back into blogging. I wanted to talk about my summer; the things I had done and not yet done, the art I have begun to create again, the flight to see my parents after five years, the dates I’ve had and the men I’ve met. The things I’ve been thinking about, politcally and personally, esp. in regards to my professional future. But today I cannot write about any of those things. Today I come to do what I never thought I would do on the internet. Today I come to ask for help.
Yesterday, I arrived home after a long Monday at work to find the window in my door busted, the frame broken and littering my kitchen floor. Soon enough I found that my computer, my hard-won Macbook Pro, was missing.
Stolen, along with a cheap camera, my old blackberry, a game dvd, and my blender (the blender, but not the attchable food processor! QUE? ) The burgler also left signs of rummaging in my various drawers, tearing up my HTC Evo box, undoubtedly hoping it would be in there. That much, at least, I still have.
The loss of my computer is what gets to me most, more than any of the other stuff, more even than the violation of my personal space. This is just the space I live in, but my computer contains everything that is me. It is–was–the only thing of value that I ever owned, and I paid for it with my own hard earned money.
You know how it is these days; everything is digital now. All my photos, from when I was a child to a few weeks ago, are in that computer. Everything I have ever written in the last fifteen years, is on that computer. All my notes, my drafts, my half-conceived blog posts, now gone into the ether. My laboriously collected internet library, years in the making, gone.
But it is not just that. That computer is my main hub for all my communication needs. As a deaf woman, I need it to connect with and access busineses and people who have no other way besides telephones to communicate. My computer WAS my telephone. I used the relay service and even occaisonally the built in webcam to connect with people. This touch screen HTC phone is limited. It can only do so much, yanno? Not to mention how many damn typos I make on this damn thing.
That brings me to the point of this post. If you have any money to spare, please consider helping me buy a new computer. I have created a ChipIn.com page here. Whatever you wish to give me will be tremendously appreciated.
Its been up a day now, and at the time of this writing, so many people have donated an unbeleiveable amount. I will forever be indebted to them for their generousity. Everytime somebody donates something, no matter how little or how much, I cry a little. I cry because it reminds me of how helpless I feel, of how dependant I am on the goodwill of others. I cry because it reminds me that most people are good people, and that goodwill is abundant. I cry because people I have never met except in these electronic spaces of the web, somehow feel enough for me to want to share whatever they can spare. I cry that they do it for me, when I feel unworthy of such generousity. What have I done for any of you to be so blessed?
But I am blessed, and I’m very greatful to all of you, those have been reading this page all these years, and those who only know me through Facebook. Without you, my life would be a whole lot dimmer.
Thank you! And again, if you’d like to help out, even if only a few bucks, I will be very greatful.