Pet Peeves #5: All the stupid petty shit that makes life more difficult or more miserable than it really has to be.
- People who drive too slow.
- People who drive too fast, get up on your bumper and flash their highbeams at you.
- Motorcyclists who weave through traffic at 200mph. I wish they’d die.
- Dropped cellular connections.
- Lack of customer service by companies who, having a monopoly on supply, just don’t give a fuck if you–or THEY–have a problem. (I’m looking at you Comcast!)
- Reality TV. I’m pretty damn sure people watch that shit because there’s nothing else being offered to watch besides talking heads and poorly written dramas. Not because people actually LIKE it.
- People who complain that they are bored and that there’s nothing to watch on TV, and watch TV anyway, complaining all the while. Instead of playing games, reading books, or socializing!
- Having to type up all this formatting shit manually because mobile scripts are fucking lame and don’t show formatting buttons.
- Postnasal drip; how it drips down your throat and congeals as a slimy ball of mucus behind your epiglottis, and no amount of throat clearing or hocking of loogies clears out that damn ball of slime.
- People who think they can tell me what to do or how to do it. The only person whose authority I recognize is my BOSS! And Mom. Hi Mom! If you’re not my boss or my mother, fucking back off.
- People I don’t know or have never spoken to, “friending” me or messaging me online. If I do not know you, you are not my friend. If you arent my friend, I will not chat with you. So don’t bother “saving” me! I will not accept!
- People who feed their children caffine, and then complain about their kids being assholes and how tired they are. Hello? You’re not getting sleep because your kids are hopped up on Mt. Dew and are acting like hyperactive assholes!!
- The eczema in my ear.
- The defect in my pinkie finger.
- Dying hearing aid batteries; they make sputtering noises, which is called “motorboating” and yes, is as irritating as it sounds!
- Political Correctness; all this hypersensitive “be careful what you say or you might hurt someone’s feelings” crap has gone WAY overboard. It’s one thing to be respectful of another human being’s reality, but to let hyperaware sensitivity encroach upon free speech, education, or the development of dermal armor is really not doing anyone any good! And you know what, I find “hearing impaired” to be the offensive term. I’m deaf. I’m happy with that word.
- People who think whistling or clapping or hooting or any other such VOCALIZATIONS are acceptable ways to get my attention. NO, they are not. I am not a dog. Moreover, I can’t HEAR vocalizations! It makes no sense!
- Food that goes bad in the refigerator. Surely three weeks of freshness isnt too much to ask!
- Jars and bottles with too tight lids.
- Child-proof caps. Let us remove the child-proofing if we want to, gawd!
- Scratched-up rented DVDs that are unreadable.
- Money pools/collections. Look, if I am going to give my money away, I’m gonna give it to actual, organized 503 non-profit charities that I admire. NOT a private fund for your kid’s summer camp! Congrats, you have a mortgage, good luck with that, but you’re not getting my money. Oh, a betting pool? How fun! NO!
- Clutter. Either put it away or PURGE!
- Blogger. Blogger has been giving me nothing but trouble for months now. Currently, I’m having “communication” problems. Blogger hates my Blackberry. Blogger refuses to load webpages, comment forms, and especially doesn’t like to let me leave comments. It even took a gazillion tries of logging in before it let me in to POST THIS DAMN POST! I’m sick of Blogger. Blogger can suck it. I’m moving to WordPress.