Dear Persons of Irritating Comport;
1. If I am more than a few paces behind you, please don’t bother holding the door open for me. Seeing you waiting for me to step through makes me feel like I have to hurry and walk faster or run, and that kinda pisses me off. And then I am expected to be thankful for your courtesy? Yeah, that pisses me off too. Also, despite my apparent helplessness, I DO, in fact, know how to make doors work.
2. If you must have a conversation, please do not do it in the middle of the lane of traffic. Having to squeeze myself pass your yammering asses–yeah, that kinda pisses me off.
3. If I am walking, please do assume that I have somewhere to go. Do not stop me and then precede to “regale” me with your version of “small talk” or “chit chat”. If you see me edging away, take that as a cue to shut up. Being trapped by your flapping maw kinda pisses me off.
4. As much as being pissed off gives me something to write on my blog, I really don’t like being pissed off. It pisses me off. So please try not to Piss me off.
Thank you for your consideration.