So I’m taking a break from dating for a few weeks, or a couple months. Dating is exhausting.
This is not to say that I dislike dating, for that isn’t the case at all. For the most part, with a couple of exceptions, I have enjoyed the dates I have had, and the men I have met have all been nice people that I am glad to have met. Even the “bad dates.”
The thing is, I do not date for the sake of dating (though some might argue that I should); I date because I want to meet the man with whom I can have a lasting relationship with–as a friend, lover, partner, and spouse. I know I probably shouldn’t expect too much, and I have told myself that many times, but if I didn’t expect that, then what would I be dating for?
The fact is, I do have expectations, and when those expectations aren’t met, I get disappointed. Too much disappointment is a heavy load to bear.
Its like I told a friend on facebook the other day, in a conversation about “having to wade through the shit to find the gold” and I replied that swimming is tiring, and now its time to lounge on the barcolounger with a margarita and watch the kiddies play in the wading pool (which in the thread was an oblique reference to sports bars).
I have no intention of actually getting into the bar scene–I am not convinced it is a good way for anyone to meet a future spouse–especially not for a person like me. I also think that the next round of dating will have to be through a paid site, and not through a free site like okcupid, where I have been. I’m not sure that my chances at meeting the right person would be improved on a different format, but I was using okcupid off and on for two years, and it didn’t work for me, so its time to move on to something else.
But not quite just yet. In a few weeks or so. I need to regain my sense of integrity first.