From the musty files of days of yore

I’m not very sentimental about *things*, generally. I usually have no qualms tossing objects such as clothes, books, toys, and stuff into the garbage when they have outlived their natural life. The one exception to this is old writings and drawings. A testament, no doubt, to how important my creative output is to me.

I was shuffling though my old files of academic papers, laughing at much of the horrid writing, or nodding my head in agreement at some point or another, when I came upon an old essay I wrote way back in my Junior year of high school. This is, incidentially, the time I started saving all my creative stuff.

Today, I read this and wonder just what the hell I was thinking writing this tripe, and what crack my teacher was smoking to give it an A. My only defense is I was stumped, the paper was due first thing the next morning, so I just turned on my bullshit-spewing machine and started writing. The assignment was to write a narrative of some memorable or meaningful event in my life. Enjoy.

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18 thoughts on “From the musty files of days of yore

  1. You said “breast.”

    I read my published stuff from high school…I had a column in the weekly high school paper and it scares me…but it read a lot like one of my blog posts…of old. When I had more time to write.

    This was fun to read though.

  2. Nesting comments isn’t working on my mobile–Gah.

    Bob–all pointless stories need a moral at the end.

    WIGSF–nothing as silly as this one. All my other academic writing assignments are fusty and serious, most much longer than this. I’ll post more if I’m so inclined.

  3. I shuddered when I read ‘I usually have no qualms tossing objects such as clothes, books, toys, and stuff into the garbage when they have outlived their natural life.’ Okay, clothes not so much, but… books? I still have books I bought when I was in fifth grade which, well, was long before your ‘lease expired’ (see how I worked your story in there?) and toys… I still have a pencil topper from a pack of lunch-sized bags of Fritos purchased sometime about the time Gene Cernan and Harrison Schmitt were walking on the moon. And I have boxes of my writing too.

  4. I think that adults need to be wary of dismissing everything they did in their youth on the sole ground that it was done in their youth.

    This story is clearly very good, creative, and funny, and I sincerely enjoyed reading it.

    I also thought it was a bit much that every “it,” “for,” “at,” and “there” was marked by your teacher. Sometimes the stylistic rules that allegedly make for good prose are silly and pointless.

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