This is certain to bore a lot of people, but you know what, I don’t give a fuck.

Three years ago, I couldn’t give a fig about shoes. Shoes were just some things to put on the ends of my legs and prevent injury whilst walking. I was content with the basics: one pair each of black and brown sneakers, black heels, brown booties. Like these:

And these particular pairs are at least 3 years old, as a matter of fact. I still wear them every single day.

But then, something strange happened. About two years ago, feeling bored with my wardrobe, and increasingly unhappy with the person I was living with, I discovered these:

Red suede kitten-heel mary janes. Quilted! They became the most exciting thing in my closet. You can’t see it in the pic here, but the strap has a red patent BUTTON. This pair made the girly-girl in me–the girl that never once cared a whit for being “cute” (because she never believed she COULD be, and therefore didn’t try)–squeal a quiet, high-pitched squeal of glee.

Today, still a favorite, but the water damage to the toes crushes my spirit.

After that, some sort of mad, shoe-loving demon took hold of me. I started off buying simple conservative black shoes:

Then I started branching out to less conservative styles:

But even then, I hadn’t gone off the shoe-loving edge yet. Oh no. That took THESE shoes, the infamous cheetah-print “fuck-me-now”s . Once again, in all their glory (and LORD do I love them):

After these preciouses, I started buying shoes with color, texture, fun, and funk. Only two so far. (shoes are expensive) Behold!

Those made me fall down some stairs. Graceful, I am not!

And these I bought this weekend, a consolation prize for having to pay $270 bucks for a brake repair on my POS Saturn (never again American made–Hondas are my future).

Next up on my shoe-shopping agenda:




Snake-skin flats!

Something completely different and artsy! Maybe not this artsy, (RIP A. McQueen) but who knows? It would be fun trying to walk in those.

So there you have it, my life in shoes. By the way, all this shoe fan-dom may or may not have something to do with Stacy and Clinton at “What Not to Wear.” Hmm, hmm, no, definitely not, purely coincidental.

One last picture; my entire shoe collection in its home:

Yay for shoes!


23 thoughts on “SHOES!

  1. Random notes from the perspective of somebody with a penis:

    – shoes are “just some things to put on the ends of my legs and prevent injury whilst walking.”

    – love the cheetah print pair.

    – Hondas rock. You can’t kill them. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried.

    – Whatever happened with that ordeal about getting those boots from that online retailer?

    1. Not-so-random responses to male perspective:

      –now there are two kinds of shoes: protective and ugly vs cute and injurious. I can see the value of both.

      –you can’t have them, they’re mine! Get your own! Lol

      –yes, exactly.

      –I put it off. I don’t shop at torrid anymore anyway, and then things kept coming up (with the car, then the computer) that were more important uses of my money.

      1. Just to clarify, I don’t love the cheetah print shoes for myself to wear. (I don’t wear open toed shoes.) I love them in the sense they look great on a woman. I think women who aren’t cougars have to take back the cheetah print.

  2. I have black and brown in sneakers and “business” shoes.

    Your pictures make me want to go out and buy squeee! shoes.

    But then I’d have to buy clothes that matched, and that, my friend, is a road I am not ready to go down. Derby is an expensive enough hobby without me becoming a clothes horse too!

    1. In the words of my idols Stacy and Clinton, they don’t have to match, they just have to “go”.

      I find that if you buy what you like, whether shoes, clothes, or jewelry, somehow, they all come together and “go” because our tastes are relatively consistent. For instance those new orange shoes? Surprisingly do go with several garments in my closet that are over two years old. They go best with brown slacks I bout a month ago, a green and turquiose and tan dress I bought last year, and dark jeans.

    1. Can you believe I got those for–wait for it–


      Clearance sales are my friend.

      And they’re made from leather, so they aren’t uncomfortable, like most cheapo shoes tend to be.

  3. I can certainly appreciate pretty shoes.

    consider Volvo. I’ve owned successive models (bought used, cheaply) with no car payment and a dependable driver – and they last. All went 250k+ before packing it in.

    1. Hey, welcome back. Bob!

      Volvo? Okay, noted. Its good to have options. I’m due to be buying a new car in about two years. Plenty of time to make a decision. 🙂

  4. Oh my God. I am working on a post right now about teh influence Stacy and Clinton have had on me! Seriously. I say this as I am wearing a dark red cinched-in corduroy jacket, an item I would never have bought in years past. And the shoe bug bit me hard this past year, too. I was purely a flat shoes sort of person and suddenly I am buying heels. So I, at least, am not remotely bored by this post!

  5. LOL

    Those two are like viruses. Its good, they give us non-perfect ladies reason to believe that we have the ability as well as the right to look nice too, and to be happy about it.

    Every person deserves a “SHUT UP!” moment.

    I want to see your shoes!

  6. Oh shoes! I thought you said shows! LOL Silly me! I love these. 🙂 I love the purple ones, and the ones on the very bottom. Those last ones have a real 1940s flair to me, and also a sort of tap-dancing thing happening. I feel like if I put those on, I could be Ginger Rogers and go dancing in the rain. 🙂 Great collection you have going on there!

  7. i see somebody has an affinity for slingbacks!

    like you – i’m trying to branch out with regards to color and texture…basic black is just so easy to settle on sometimes.

    and i see a lot of space to fill. a lot of space.

  8. That strange women-and-shoes gene woke up in me a few years ago, too, and nobody was more surprised than I. I still wear mostly sneakers, of which I have many pairs, but I can’t resist buying as many darling shoes as I can afford. I am particularly taken with your purple silk or satin heels. They are yummy!

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