It seems that anytime a group of humans are trapped together in a big, mostly windowless box, and said box is further divided into many smaller, increasingly windowless boxes, some people forget common sense and courtesy and tolerance. Which is kind of amazing considering that in order to survive living in a large windowless box filled with smaller windowless boxes, people must exercise common sense, courtesy, and tolerance. But the kicker, the absolute laugh-out-loud kicker, is that no one in any of these boxes ever thinks that maybe, just maybe, they are failing the common sense, courtesy and tolerance rule too! Case in point, check out these passive-aggressive notes, so lovingly bestowed upon the walls of the many mini-boxes inside my flourescent-lighted workplace.
Translation: sit your fat ass on the fucking toilet seat, you damn fool.
(Note the cute pictures.)
Translation: Pipe down, whippersnappers!
Translation: stop costing the company money, you greedy fucks!
Translation: I (whoever “I” is) am not your maid, you filthy slobs.
Translation: Even Grandma knows better than to put cheese-crusted bread and pastries inside a fucking toaster, you inebriated loons.
So there you have it. My workplace is populated, or so it seems, with fire-starting, sink-filling, tree-killing, disturbing-the-peace, toothpaste-spitting, toiletphobic boobs.
You know what the absolute, realer-than-real kicker is? I actually like working there. Those people are fucking crazy.