An update

How long has it been since I’ve actually posted anything? I think a while…my life hasn’t exactly been fun and games lately, and I haven’t felt much inspired to blog about anything.

I’m feeling a bit disgruntled. Nothing major, and its not a life-pervading sense of malaise, its just…an overall mood of “meh”. Most of it has to do with the fact that this week has been my vacation and I have spent all of it cooped up inside my apartment with some respiratory illness, perhaps bronchitis. With a persistent fever during the first warm and SUNNY days of the summer. Today was the first day I had some energy and ability to go outside, and it fucking RAINED. Again. I missed the goddamn sun on my only goddamned vacation. I had spent the entire spring looking forward to a chance to go to the beach and walk on the sand and maybe even take a swim. The one and only chance this entire wet, grey summer, and I get my fucking LUNGS infected!

I shouldn’t dwell too much upon the injustice of the universe, else I need to take that valium the doctor gave me. Yeah. Valium. When I started feeling this thing come on, I went to the clinic to see if it was an infection or an athsma attack. Either way, I would need some meds, I figured. Well, I got anxious about the money. Things are tight right now, and my insurance has steep co-pays, and the drug coverage requires a stupid out-of-pocket deductible ($200) before they start chipping in. So I am anxious about that.

So the doctor tells me, that since I had no fever (yet) and that my oxygen levels and breath sounds were just dandy, I was only having a PANIC ATTACK, and prescribed me a valium.

Well the valium is nice and all, but it really does shit against the actual infection I DO have in my lungs right now. The day after that informative little visit, I got a fever of 104.6, a thick hacking cough, and an out-of-control colon. And since that little visit to the clinic took all my money, I wasn’t able to afford to revisit, nor did I want to make one. I had more important things to do–namely sleep and expel yellow muck from my alveoli.

My lungs now are clearing up on their own–well, with the help of some mucinex and tylenol. Must be a virus. But, as I’ve said, my vacation is fucking ruined.

Right now a cute little thunderstorm is booming over my head. Isn’t that just adorable? Instead of sipping lemonade and eyeing bare-chested adoni on hot sands, I’m chugging cherry-flavored Robitussin and watching the urban rivers rush down the gutters on my street. The adoni are fully clothed and chugging beers far from my lustful gaze. I suppose, considering my less-than-prime state, that should be considered a good thing.

But its fucking NOT!

Tonight, I will be watching t.v. alone. I will watch that pale and sickly twin of “Project Runway”–“The Fashion Show”–and hope that Reco wins and Daniella gets the boot. I really don’t like that girl.

I would much rather be with friends having drinks, but no one is available today. I’m not too happy about that either, but my friends actually do have lives apart from me.

I know, how dare they!


8 thoughts on “An update

  1. I’m free. Not that I’m anywhere near you, but, at least this way, you know you’re not the only one home watching TV.

  2. Home might be a better place. We went to a baseball game tonight and the fireworks caught the rightfield bullpen on fire…that made things exciting.

    Sorry about your…uh…everything. It kind of comes in waves sometimes. I hope you shake it soon.


  3. First of all, prescribing valium for an assumed panic attack is not the way to go anyway. If you are really having panic attacks you need to learn how to manage them. It makes me crazy that doctors are so quick to hand out addictive meds. But secondly, sounds like he also missed what was really going on.

    Hope you are feeling much better very soon!

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