Breaking up to ’90s music

Way back in the early ’90’s, when I had just become a teenager (and good lord, was I ever that young?) I went through a music-video-watching phase, where I would stay up late watching MTV, VH1, and CMT soaking up lyrics and whatever I could of the music.

Every once in a while my mind flashes back to those times and remembers some songs I once loved. The songs always seem to come triggered by some emotion or event or happenstance in my life.

During the past year, while Brian and I went through that long, torturous dissolution of our relationship, I would get the following songs (specifically these parts of the songs) stuck as earworms in my head. Now I am mildly awed at how there is a song for every emotion and circumstance of human experience. Is this what makes the Hearing so addicted to music–the affinity to experience that music holds?

In any case, these following are the songs I remembered at the various stages of my breakup. I admit to feeling a faint embarrassment to share this, but I do wish to share some part of how I was thinking and coping in the past year.

Stage one: Confusion:
Extreme: “More Than Words”

“Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos I’d already know…”

Stage two: Discovery/Denial
The Police: “Every Breath You Take”

“…Since you’ve gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but its you I cant replace
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace

I keep crying baby, baby, please…

Oh, can’t you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every breath you take

Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
Ill be watching you…”

Stage three: Acknowledgment:
Paula Abdul: “Cold Hearted”

“…Girl dont play the fool–now
You’re the one givin up the love
Anytime he needs it
But you turn your back and then he’s off
And runnin with the crowd
You’re the one to sacrifice
Anything to please him
Do you really think he thinks about you
When he’s out?

He’s a cold-hearted snake
Look into his eyes
Oh oh oh
He’s been tellin lies
He’s a lover boy at play
He dont play by rules
Oh oh oh
Girl dont play the fool–now…”

Stage four: Anger:
Tina Turner: “Goldeneye Theme”

“…You’ll never know,
how I watched you from the shadows as a child
You’ll never know,
how it feels to be the one who’s left behind
You’ll never know the days and the nights,
the tears, the tears I’ve cried
But now my time has come
and time, time is not on your side

…You’ll never know,
how I watched you from the shadows as a child
You’ll never know,
how it feels to get so close and be denied

It’s a gold and honey trap,
I’ve got for you tonight
Revenge is a kiss
this time I won’t miss,
now I’ve got you in my sights
With a golden eye…”

Stage five: Resolution:
Faith Hill: “But I will”

“Remember when I said, “The next time would be the last time”
That time came this mornin’ when you came in
You always had a line to change my mind
So I guess you thought I’d just let you break my heart again

I don’t want to stop lovin’ you, ­but I will
I don’t like wakin’ up alone, ­but I will
You’re the only one who can make my heart stand still
I don’t want to let you go, ­but I will…”


6 thoughts on “Breaking up to ’90s music

  1. I think that what you said is completely the reason why most hearing people are so entranced by music. Not only do you put words but also these somehow so meaningful sounds to otherwise indescribable emotions.

  2. I do this – there are songs that are thematic for where I am in my life for their lyrics. I complete;y get this post.

  3. Thanks for sharing these with us. Music is often a metaphor for me as well. Many of the songs on my blog posts are related in some way to what’s going on in my life. It was neat to see your perspective on music too. 🙂

  4. great post. I was wondering if you were among the countless others who find solace in 90’s music lyrics during a breakup. 🙂

  5. what a great post… thanks for sharing 🙂

    i’m sorry you had to go through this. but i love how you had these songs to kind of chronicle the stages you went through.

    music/song is powerful.

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