The Weird

  • Yesterday temperatures climed to 58 degrees, in mid-Feburary! Today will be windy and rainy at a balmy 47 degrees. Again, in med-Feburary!
  • The soda machine at work hates me. I swear to god! Usually, after plugging in my $.75 and pushing the selection button, it will vomit out my drink with no problem, but sometimes, at random moments, it will hold my soda within its gaping maw, refusing to release my refreshments. I put my money in, I make my selection, it pushes out my can from the holding apparatus within it, and a loud thunk comes from it, like its supposed to, but the damn soda won’t come out of its hole. Instead, it comes out LATER, for some damn lucky bastard who gets two sodas for the price of one.

    And of all the 50 people that work here, IM THE ONLY PERSON IT DOES THIS TO!

  • I had a strange dream involving a bordello having a sort of fundraising night involving country fair games. I was wearing red heels. Later, I dreamt of a stolen wallet and three-way anal sex with Alec Baldwin and some blonde dude. Baldwin was in the middle.

7 thoughts on “The Weird

  1. The machine does that because you are a deaf strawberry blonde.

    Also, about your dreams…yeah. I can picture Alec baldwin taking it up the pooper, but why would you want him in your pooper? You can do so much better than that, like Orhan for example. Play the game right and he’ll be on the next flight over!

  2. Ok, I’ll avoid the obvious stuff that Woozie already covered and ask whose wallet was stolen and were you wearing anything besides red heels? RAWR!

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