The line between avoidance and OCD is thin indeed

For weeks now I’ve been intending to use my weekends as writing time, but I haven’t done it, not a single word. Even though I wake up with the thought of what I need to and will write that day, once I get up and pee, all that goes out the window. I think instead of all the things I need to do: all the errands,the shopping, the people to see, the chores to do: even when I don’t HAVE to do any of those things. Just when I think that ‘now’ might be a good time to sit and crank out a page or two, I think of something that should be done instead, and that I need to do it, else I won’t focus on writing, knowing that, whatever it is, is hanging over my head.

And I know–KNOW–exactly what all this is: pure and simpe avoidance behavior, but I can’t make myself stop.

The only writing I’ve been able to do is in that narrow span of time between 9 am to Noon at work. And I can’t accomplish much there, with all the interruptions, but at least it sort of works for me.

I need to figure out how to translate the environment and circumstances at work to a weekend at home, and I get a headache just thinking about it. I think I”ll read the news instead.


7 thoughts on “The line between avoidance and OCD is thin indeed

  1. I really get this, consequently my house is very clean after this weekend, but I haven’t left a single stroke on paper, canvas, etc.

    There is no standard procedure regarding order of operations with these things. In my case, I feel guilty about menial tasks going neglected, when I’m working on an optional project that is executed for the benefit of my sanity alone. Even though we should take care of ourselves so that the people in our lives can actually stand to be around us ;), or at least stand to be around me.

  2. I have periods of time like his where I will get all sorts of things done EXCEPT what I actually need to be doing.

  3. Dude,

    Sometimes, I’ll write entire stories in my head as I drift to sleep. This happens after I’ve read (and been inspired by) particularly good literature… just need to put it down, right?

  4. Heh. I have the opposite problem–I write and scour the internet for hours to avoid doing chores!

    Have you tried writing down a list of all the things you “need” to do, then don’t do them until you’ve written a specific amount? Sometimes while I’m trying to fall asleep at night I can’t b/c I’m thinking of all that crap, but if I write it down, I can sleep. Maybe that would also apply to writing. : )

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