Exerpts from the IM Files

Below is part of a discussion my sister and I had regarding Obama’s much-anticipated VP announcement–which, at the time of this writing, I am still waiting for. I am, FYI, feeling very impatient and very annoyed. What the fuck is up with this last minute bullshit! Seriously? Just fucking tell us al-fucking-ready!


And now, the chat, courtesy of AIM.


me: how’s the knit?

sis: hey girl
sis: fine
sis: taking a break

me: whoo!
me: cool

sis: now i’m just cleaning out my gmail inbox
sis: this stupid obama thing is driving me nutty

me: which stupid thing?

sis: the artifical fevered frenzy as we wait for THE text message
sis: argh
sis: my head is going to explode

me: oh that yes. I’ve been antsy all day and feeling annoyed

sis: grr
sis: c’mon already!!!
sis: damn

me: like, typical asshat male leaving us waiting and waiting for a phone call and just as we about to wash our hands of him altogether, BUZZ “hi baby!”

sis: i know!!!
sis: and then we’ll fawn all over him again
sis: just happy that he called us

me: ugh yes!
me: exactly
me: asshat!

sis: but of course it’s just a booty call
sis: but we don’t care
siss: because we like the cock and will do anything to get it
sis: we are addicted to the cock

me: lol
me: stop it! hehe

sis: lol
sis: we can’t get enough of the cock

me: making me want to send a text like “how dare you stand me up! no votes for you!”

sis: lol
sis: you’ll cave in and vote for him
sis: because you are addicted to the cock
sis: admit it!!

me: well the alternative is a crippled old ballsack
me: if given a choice between a flacid ballsack or a cock..
me: I gotta choose the cock

sis: yeah
sis: and he wouldn’t even give you a booty call
sis: lol
sis: no c=3()-:

me: ew teabagging lol

sis: mccain=teabagging
sis: obama=cock


****Update: proof that Obama is a dick.

Late Friday, several officials said the text message announcement would be distributed Saturday morning, a few hours before a scheduled rally at the Old State Capitol in Springfield, Ill., where the Democratic ticket would appear for the first time.

Fucking GOD!


17 thoughts on “Exerpts from the IM Files

  1. It’s prolly gonna be Tim Kaine from VA where I vote… duh….

    You have no sense of drama.

    Haha, you’re a ginger. I didn’t know why I thought you’d be fugly. But you’re still a ginger. hahahaha.

  2. OK. I AM drunk. I’m about to board a plane and I may not be permitted. I am worried. I AM drunk, OK? Don’t be so judgmental, Ms. Ginger. Fail? I thought my blog was rather failsafe. I think it’s been pretty tight lately.

    Yes, I’m pretty drunk right now, ginger.

    It will be Tim Kaine. I will get an absentee ballet. I am going to Vermont and I’m goint to drink even MORE beer, ginger.

  3. I knew you were drunk. Only a drunk man would insult a redhead on the rag. An irritated redhead on the rag.

    On HER blog.

    Where are you flying to? Denver?

  4. and the winner is. . .
    wait for the drumroll . . .
    the attack dog! Biden

    So Rachel, you really ought to consider moderating your blog. There’s no need to put up with the above lack of decorum. Sheesh.

    Love you, Mom

  5. And the black cock had the nerve to call back at 3 AM. Oh, the irony. “It’s 3 AM, and your children are safe in bed. But half a country away, Barack Hussein Obama has chosen Joe Biden as his Vice President…”

    There is nothing wrong with saggy balls, so long as they don’t pass the knees.

  6. i totally commented on here wherein i used the term “cock” 3 times (exceedingly my personal limit for one conversation) and the damn thing didn’t save. i demand a re-count.

    i know that didn’t make sense. i’m running on NO candy, here.

  7. A British comedian’s comment on the VP choice was ‘How many more of the letters in Osama Bin Laden’ could the Democrats get into their Presidential candidates?’ Made me laugh anyway.


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