While I work on my next few blog posts, I open up the floor to questions from my audience. I shall welcome all questions (though I reserve the right to not respond to those I deem too invasive), any type of question, any topic. Nothing is too serious or too silly.
I shall start us off with a few questions from Crazythoughts:
1. Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?
Quite simply, the answer is no. There IS etiquette involved, of course. For instance, one shall keep food exposure to a minimum while signing, and at the very least one should not have food in one’s hands while saying(signing) something.
2. Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Lord, I wish I knew. I was lucky enough to see the gynocologist last week, and they told me to strip from the waist down, pointed out the “cover-up”, then drew the curtain and exited the room. Then a knock 15 minutes later to announce the Doctor’s entrance. Why? Whats the point? The illusion of privacy and respect is just that: a damn uncomfortable illusion. Especially since I KNOW what’s coming. And no, I won’t get into the details of all the uncomfortable probings and squeezings. Gawd, I hate the gynocologist.
3. Why doesn’t McDonald’s sell hotdogs?
I am glad they don’t. Can you imagine how nasty one of their hotdogs would be? Hotdogs are gross enough as it is. I don’t want to contemplate the gastronomic travesty McDonalds would make of that!
4. And finally, a rather long survey from Bzoink:
Would you rather…
Be 4’1 or 7’9″?: short!
Live without music or live without T.V.?: I already live without music!
Eat a bar of soap or drink a bottle of dishwashing liquid?: I’ll have the suds…no chewing involved.
Be called a racist or a traitor to your country?: A traitor. The word is so overused nowadays, its practically meaningless. But I take pride in my tolerance of differences.
Lose your legs or lose your arms?: Legs. I am a deaf person. I need my hands to sign. I am an artist and a writer. I need my hands.
Have a beautiful house and ugly car or an ugly house and beautiful car?: beautiful house, booyah! I dont live in my car!
Be blind or deaf?: Im deaf, so moot question there. (Deaf, btw)
Live in Antarctica or Death Valley?: Death valley. I hate cold.
In a fire, save a sibling or a stranger?: If I really had to choose, I’d save my sister, damn it. She’s my SISTER.
Be spanked or be put on a restriction (on your favorite thing to do)?: Be spanked. I can handle pain but not deprivation.
Eat sushi or liver?: SUSHI is yummy.
Have 3 eyes or webbed feet?: Webbed feet. Id be a better swimmer.
Meet the president of the U.S. or Billy Graham?: UGH @Billy Graham. I want to meet Prez. Obama!
Find true love or 1 million dollars?: I already have true love, so give me the million.
Always have to say everything on your mind or never speak again?: I’d choose never to speak again. Some things are not meant to be said.
Be gossipped about or never talked about at all?: Let them gossip. I hate being ignored.
Have stars in your eyes or eyes in the back of your head?: I like being a dreamer. let my eyes see the stars/
Have x-ray vision or bionic hearing?: I really dont need to see people’s innards, but bionic hearing could be useful for me!
Be able to hear any conversation or take back anything you say?: I’d love to overhear things.
End hunger or hatred?: id end hatred. hate leads to so many sins against other people.
Publish your diary or make a movie on your most embarrassing moment?: I dont have a diary. And my most embarssing moment is really not that bad. Although it IS traumatic to ME.
Get caught singing in the mirror or spying on your crush?: the singing bit is humiliating. let me be caught spying.
Be a dog named Killer or a cat named Fluffy?: I already call my cat “Fluffy!” He doesnt seem to mind.
Be stranded on an island alone or with someone you hate?: Alone! the me time would be welcome.
Get even or get over it?: I always get over it. Never been petty or vindictive.
Always lose or never play?: Losing can be fun, yanno. You just gotta let go of perfection.
Be forced to tell your best friend a lie or tell your parents the truth?: Honesty is always the best policy.
Know it all or have it all?: Im a nerd. I want to know it all.
Always get first dibs or the last laugh?: I’m always the last to know the punch line….I want first dibs for once.
Give bad advice or take bad advice?: I hate the thought of ruining someone’s day. I can handle my own problems. I’ll take it.
Have sand in your shorts or water in your ear?: Water in the ear is no big deal.
Forget your sunscreen or your sunglasses?: Sunglasses. Ive been burned too damn many times, and it bloody hurts like hell.
Kiss a jellyfish or step on a crab?: ive stepped on crabs. hedious experience, but they arent POISONOUS.
Own a ski lodge or a surf camp?: Surfing. I love the water.
Forget who you were or who everyone else was?: I’d like to always know who I am, but I am not me without the people I love. I’d rather forget me.
Have one wish granted today or three wishes granted in 10 years?: Instant gratification is overrated….but so much fun.
Give up your computer or your pet?: The computer. I can pay my bills the old-fashioned way. But theres no substitute for my cats.
Be the sand castle or the wave?: No matter how many times I am washed out, I always can come back.
Overthrow a dictatorship or lead one?: I am socialist…viva la revolucion!
Write the worst book in history or record the worst song in history?: The book. at least then I can say I have writen something.
Get free chocolate for one year or free potatoes forever?: Chocolate!
Have half days everyday or no homework forever?: half-days! Work is good for you, but so is free-time.
Wear all pink or all purple to school?: Purple. Pink is a wretched color.
Take a math test or do a lab in science?: math blows! I like science.
Have a mansion in the middle of nowhere or an apartment with 10 friends?: Middle of nowhere sounds good, but keep the mansion.
Be a deep sea diver or an astronaut?: Diver.
Bake cookies in cooking class or do art projects in art class?: Art!
Run the mile or give a speech for English?: Speech!
Have a pie-eating contest or a wheelbarrow race?: Pie!
Have a big group of friends or one very close friend?: One BBF!
Not be able to talk or hear for one day?: both!
Be nervous but excited or relaxed but bored?: bored!
Wear a school uniform or last year’s Halloween costume?: costume
Spend the day surfing the internet or the ocean?: internet. I like the water, but I hate sunburns more. Plus, the internet is fun.
Be an actress/actor in a big movie or the director?: I cant act. and Im too damn shy. I’ll make the movie instead.
Have an ugly, loyal dog or a prize-winning, snobby cat?: I cant live with dogs. Cat.
Be a professional baseball player or a champion horse breeder?: Horses are cool.
Be saved by Superman or meet Winnie the Pooh?: Pooh is a Taoist sage. I can learn much from him. Superman is a jock. I hate jocks.
Go to an amusement park or to a family reunion?: I miss my family. I choose them.
Have a kangaroo or koala as your pet?: kangaroos are dangerous!
Be rich with an unhappy job or make less money with a job you like?: I want to be happy. I can live poor, so long as I am living well.
Not be able to use your phone or your e-mail?: Since my phone IS my email, I choose to give up the email.
Snowboard in the winter or swim in the summer?: swim.
Pick your own nose or someone else’s?: ew, my own!
Be a tree or live in a tree?: I imagine it would be a tight fit living in a tree…
Write a mystery or a poem?: Mysteries are pedantic. I’ll write the poem.
Meet an alien visitor or travel to outer space?: I’d rather travel.
Be forgotten or hatefully remembered?: let me be forgotten.
Last but not least…
Would you rather be doing this quiz or doing something else? =P: This was fun, but it WAS damn long.