In Which I Indulge in some Introspection

I’ve been scarce, far too scarce, these past few weeks. My blogiversary (May 8) has long come and gone, and I never noticed. In truth, I cannot remember why I started blogging, and I am not sure if I want to continue. This blog has diverted from its original direction and now wanders aimlessly, like a confused squirrel in search of a nut. “Is there any purpose in searching for this nut?” the squirrel wonders. “What kind of nut am I looking for anyway? If I want an acorn I should probably go this way….but, the hazelnuts are over there, and oh, does it matter anyway? Oh dear, my tail is just too fluffy!”

I’ve not been on the computer much, except to pay the bills. Instead, I’ve just been plodding along my path of life, engrossed in minor and not-so-minor things, that seemed, at the time, to be so much more interesting than blogging.

  • I had a really bad bout of insomnia. I’ve been chronically insomniac since my early teens, but a few weeks ago, it was particulary devasting. The exhaustion was overwhelming. So I went to a walk-in (I do not have my own General Practioner) and aquired a two-week dose of Ambien. The Ambien worked well, and I am sleeping more soundly now, even after I have emptied my bottle. I still find myself waking in the night, but at least the frequency and intensity of my wakings are less severe. I am greatful for that, but can see that I will have to get a GP eventually, to address the insomnia more rigorously.
  • I had my cable company install a Digital Video Recording (DVR) service, which is kinda like Tivo. So I’ve been spending much of my free time setting up my recordings and watching them. Some of the shows I am recording are: Robot Chicken, The Daily Show, South Park, Jeopardy, What Not to Wear, You are What You Eat, and science and society documentaries such as on BBC, TLC, and Science Channel.
  • Shopping. I’ve bought tires, clothes, food, and other necessities.
  • And finally, the vast majority of my mental energy has been consumed in writing. Not blogs, but Fiction. A few weeks ago, I finished a short story titled “The Song of Ulamae” and have been deep in the development and writing of other stories and novels. I have a file full of finished dreck, and another full of unfinished stories in various states of completion and goodness. “Ulamae” is the first story that I have finished that I consider to be any good. It is a dark fantasy/horror, and once I finish the revisions, I might be submitting it to the short story market (if any of you would like to read it and give me constructive criticism, drop me a line in the comments box). Now, I am writing another short story (a sword-and-sorcery), am in the plotting stages of an epic fantasy novel, and in the character-development stages of a literary novel I am slating for writing during NaNoWriMo in November.

I don’t know how often I will be blogging or be doing much reading of my favorite blogs. I still do read the pages in my sidebar, just not as often as I feel I should be, and feel guilty for becoming a lurker, for no longer commenting. Sometimes, with all the writing I am doing, even commenting seems like too much effort. Hopefully, once I settle into a groove, and a groove that works and is genuinely rewarding and productive, I will be around and more visible more often.

And if you are still hanging around and reading this blog, then I thank you for being so kind and patient.

And hopefully, my tail will stop twitching and fluffing and I can find that elusive nut.

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13 thoughts on “In Which I Indulge in some Introspection

  1. You are Scrat, the saber-toothed squirrel from Ice-Age. 🙂

    I’m glad you’re writing more creative fiction. It’s good for you. I can’t wait to see what you’re working on…

    Blog when you want and for yourself. When reading blogs and commenting and replying to comments becomes like a job, it’s not fun anymore.

  2. Always blog without obligation.

    Glad you are getting your fiction groove on. I look forward to reading what’s next.

  3. Jen: I always wondered what that creature’s name was…

    Chica: Thanks, and I will take your words to heart.

    Red Squirrel: I dont divulge my sources: my integrity is important to me, lol.

  4. Haha, thanks for the super nice comment! I’ll really miss you on here if you stop blogging–I feel like we’re just starting to be good friends! But I think it’s also good to not overdo it. Maybe you can blog just the highlights (or lowlights) so you don’t get sick of it but can also keep up with all of us. : ) Glad to hear your other writing’s going well!

  5. Haha, thanks for the super nice comment! I’ll really miss you on here if you stop blogging–I feel like we’re just starting to be good friends! But I think it’s also good to not overdo it. Maybe you can blog just the highlights (or lowlights) so you don’t get sick of it but can also keep up with all of us. : ) Glad to hear your other writing’s going well!

  6. i loathe insomnia. i know it helps some people’s creativity but all it does to me is force the watching of infomericals. and i still really want a magic bullet.

    hope you keep posting. and commenting. and stuff.

  7. I hope that all of you that make this hateful and reckless comments about Heath burn blissfully in hell. It’s so classy of you to take the plunge on him now that he can’t fight back… Really brave!
    Yeah… Awesome…. Just fucking burn in hell. All of you, motherfuckers!

  8. i’d totally be happy to read your story 🙂 sounds intriguing!

    and i so hear you! i miss blogging so much… but i just can’t motivate myself to do it lately.

  9. You’re busy, that’s okay. Bloging shouldn’t be a burden. I am a long-time chronic insomnica,too. I now use ambien onceo r twice a month, when I know I have to choose between sleeping or dying! (not really, of course, but it sure feels like it.)

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