I’m trying to teach myself some calming practices, exercises in meditation and emptiness. I’m not doing so well. For instance, just now, during a period of boredom at work, I try to clear my mind by focusing on a mantra. I don’t know any mantras, but I thought to do one of my own by repeating “open, open” to myself, in the sense that true stillness leads to an openness in one’s mind.
Well, after a few repeats of “open, open” I start writing poety. Here’s the piece of drivel I wrote 5 minutes ago.
Open, open: let the dust in.
Time is your best friend.
Open, open: let the light in.
Shadow is your best friend.
Open, open: let the wind in.
Chaos is your best friend.
Open, open: let yourself in.
Emptiness is your best friend.
Then, instead of taking my own advice, I type this up and post it on my oh-so-convienent blog. Ridiculous!
Not only that, not only is my mind not open or still, my internal critic pipes up, and declaims in portentious tones, that this the most profound piece of drivel ever.
Apparently, mental stillness doesn’t seem to come easy for me.
Nor does shutting that stupic critic up.