Before I get back into my regulary scheduled blogging, I'd like to first thank everyone for their wonderful, kind, and gratifying comments on my last post. Its people like you that keep my blogging habits going, and I'll be forever greatful for that.
Now, to recap.
*I was able to think about my recent frustrations with the creative process. Although I haven't resolved anything, I have come to some understanding and negotiated a sort of truce with myself. I don't feel any more creative or inspired than before, but I no longer feel so upset about my lack of progress. Really, I shouldn't be so hard on myself–my circumstances aren't really ideal for a creative life: I don't have a studio where I can be messy; with two jobs, I don't have the time to invest in long-term projects; and my chronic restless insomnia saps my mental strength. At this point, I need more peace than I need art, and I need to focus on giving myself the inner space to feel the peace within myself.
*I finshed the book on Taoism I was reading. I enjoyed it tremendously, and found it far more informative than any previous book–including Lao Tzu's "The Way of Life". There's much about Taoism that I would like to say, but that's for another post, later. For now, I will just say that the book I read is called "Everyday Tao", by Deng Ming-Dao, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in Taoist spirituality and thought.
*My 16-year-old cat has developed a problem. She's got bad constipation, and has been struggling all week to poop. Its obviously painful, and she paces and sits and paces and strains. Eventually she does elminate, but its small and followed by watery blood and mucus discharge. I've taken her to the vet, who said that she seems perfectly healthy otherwise, and that iif it continues or gets worse, to take her back in for xrays. Which we probably will do later this week, because this is not going away on its own. I just hope the only cure she'll need is an enema. I'm very worried about her.
*We went to the Monday Room in NYC Saturday, a wine bar adjucent to a French restaurant. We had the five-course wine and food tasting menu (and a bonus 6th course, free of charge). The food was very french and very gourmet, and very delicious. The wine was fantastic–the steward gave us excellent complex, rich wines, and increased my desire to learn more about wine 100-fold. (The best wine was the 2002 Coeur Cheverny cuveé Renaissance, from Franquios Cagin, of the Loire Valley.) Six half-glasses of fine french wine later, I am totally smashed. So much so, that I have completely blacked out a pit stop at a Starbucks on our walk to the subway at Union Square. I remember stepping out of the resturant (somewhat uncertainly, clutching Brian's elbow) and walking a couple blocks to Broadway. I remember the blue-lit Empire State Building shining over all the skyscrapers, how I thought of it as a shining beacon guiding me northward. I remember walking a few blocks northward, passing shops and pedestrians, and babbling non-stop at poor Brian. Then I rememeber stepping onto Union Square and thinking that that was an awfully short walk. Later, we looked at the map, and realized I lost 3/4 of the walk to wine-fogged stupor. This is my first and only blackout. I've NEVER been that drunk before in my life! I don't like being drunk and usually stop drinking when I feel that strong tingle-in-the-back-of-my-eyeballs buzz…but the wine was so good! And the service so immpeccable! And the food so rich and fatty, something had to wash it all down, and what's better than the rich wines that are so perfectly paired with this food? And how often am I going to have the opportunity to sample rare french wines? Hell, I don't regret it!
*I pre-did my taxes, and I owe the feds some money. I need to fix my w4 to add more withholdings on my second job. What a pain. At least my student loan interest deductible knocked off 2/3 of my tax debt! And at least the state is giving a return of a couple hundred! And big cheers on the $500 rebate I should be getting in July! But its all going into my damned credit cards.
Isn't usury a sin? Shouldn't we, the proleitariat masses, uprise and cast the evil debt-profiteering buttpirates into the very bowels of hell? I could spend all day daydreaming about that…
*Finally, I hate the Super Bowl. I hate the expectation that I should be excited about a championship game bewteen two teams I know nothing about, from a sport I don't give a fuck about. I hate also how the game became a sort of national holiday revolving around greasy food, crass commercialism, and binge drinking–and lets not forget the faux-tittilating half-time shows. To me, football represents everything distasteful about America, and the super bowl just brings it all out and glorifies it. Its repulsive and annoying.
Okay, I got that off my chest. I will admit I saw the last minute of the game and I was tickled that the undefeated topdogs were defeated at the last minute by the underdogs. I found it to be sweet justice. Ha. It was a good finish to an otherwise despicable sport (and no, I'm not a hypocrite. Brian insisted on seeing the finish just so he'd have something to contribute should his place of work engage in a super bowl conversation. Jeez.)
Upcoming episodes of this blog include: "The evolution of morality", "Taoism", and "Hermitage?"