Mad Scientist

I find myself without a thing to say, staring at that picture of Dexter, wishing I still had that mad scientist costume I made in his honor. I’m thinking that if I were smarter, I totally could have been a mad scientist; I have come up a few wacky ideas. To wit:

  • Appetite suppressant: A few years ago, I contracted Mononucleosis. The first month I had no appetite whatsoever–I forced myself to eat soup, pudding, and toast when I was able. The next two months, my appetite gradually increased to half it’s normal levels, to where I was eating two medium sized meals a day: a bowl of cereal and some juice for breakfast, and half a plate of spaghetti for dinner, for example. I dropped 30 pounds in those months, from 185 to 155. Now, three years have passed, and my appetite is completely, utterly, back to where it used to be before I became sick. In the last year and one half, I have gained 15 pounds, a depressing 170 pounds. This leads me to wonder how I can get back that naturally occurring loss of appetite without getting so horribly ill. Suddenly, it came to me! If we could extract that part of the viral DNA/RNA that induces appetite loss and embed it into the genome of a bacterium that is harmless to humans, could that work as an minimal-side-effects-weight-loss-pill? Yes, I know that loss of appetite has more to do with the effect of one’s immune system working against the invading infection, and not a consequent of foreign DNA, but still–if a virus or bacteria could be found to directly impact hunger, than could not its DNA be incorporated into a “magic obesity cure”?
  • Cybernetic Prostheses: (I have no idea when or how I came up this one, but come up with it I did, when I was but a teen) Taking the idea of the cochlear implant a step further…We should combine nanotechnology, biochemical engineering, and stem cells (the stem cells part is a recent addition to this mad scheme) in the production of fully-functioning prostheses for amputees. Somehow the combination of all three technological elements should create a synthetic nerve network that can interact with the recipient’s natural central nervous system. The joint between the amputated limb and the prosthesis would be made of surgical quality stainless steel bolted into the bones of the recipient and artificial nerves, blood vessels, muscles, and bone would interlace and interface with the biological counterparts. The idea is that the artificial nerves would be able to communicate naturally with the biological nerves, thus rendering control of the prosthesis unconscious, as if it were a natural limb.


That’s all for now. Its late, my honey is home, and I want to cuddle. I’ve got a lot of other crazy ideas, not all of them scientific. A lot are entrepenurial (such as a Arts Intstitute, a World-Cuisine resturant for Dieters, and a Fun and Games Center complete with tri-level mini-golf). Maybe I’ll talk about those ideas later. But now, I’m going to go give my honey a hug.

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9 thoughts on “Mad Scientist

  1. aww… i want a honey to cuddle with. can you believe i’ve never cuddled?

    pathetic.

    haha… but i really want you to invent that first one. perhaps if i could get my hands on that one, i could find a honey to cuddle 😉

  2. martha: oh and I just have to say: I know you feel lonely, but that doesn’t make you pathetic! Don’t judge yourself so harshly..you’re too good of a person for that.

  3. Hmmmm tri-level mini golf…That sounds like good times. Especially if I was intoxicated whilst golfing. =P

    PS – Being sick is a great appetite suppressant..I shall anxiously await this invention!!

  4. You are trying to make non eating cyborgs!!!!

    actually it all sounds really cool if only I could understand it all

  5. You are trying to make non eating cyborgs!!!!

    actually it all sounds really cool if only I could understand it all

  6. i totally commented on this yesterday but it obviously didn’t take. so now i’m boycotting this post. just this one, though. it wronged me.

  7. angel; drink-and-“drive” (get it?, lol)

    puss: I think so too!

    pool; I wish I could understand it too.

    kara:maybe if you feed it chocolate it will reguriate your comment? Is boycotting really necessary? it sounds so….well. sad.

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